Dear, Child of God
I lost a lot of opportunity to carry out God's will for my life and for His Kingdom because I was living in a way that was not conducive to His will.
Truthfully there was no space for God in my life. Although, had you asked me back then, I would have told you that God was my number one priority but in truth He wasn’t.
Since then I have learnt the importance of being obedient in the small things and how imperative this is in order to live according to His will.
31 years of my life I lived by the same routine; I’d wake up, get through my day, return home, get through my night, pray and go to bed.
This is a very generic representation of my day but for my whole life that is how it was.
I went through the motions of my day with a lack of emotion.
During these years of my life I had no purpose for my life, I had no clear direction and I couldn't make decisions. I felt no joy, happiness, fulfillment or peace.
There was a lot of prayer, in fact there was desperate prayer for God to please fill the emptiness and the dark void within me and my life. There was desperate prayer for God to show me my life purpose and the will He had for me to help His kingdom.
Through all these years of desperate prayer He never revealed His purpose or will for me, until this year.
So why now? 31 years later. Why has God revealed himself to me now and not then?
I believe it’s based on 2 reasons.
Number 1: I was not listening.
Number 2: I did not fully understand.
Here is my reasoning and understanding from my personal journey as to why God wants obedience in the small things.
The book of Exodus and Leviticus in the bible shares all of God's laws, commandments and holy days that we should obey and honor. By obeying and honoring all of these laws, commandments and holy days we assume that we are in full obedience and are expectant that God will reveal His purpose and His will for our lives.
However we can keep all of these and God may still not reveal His will or His purpose for our lives.
Number 1: Not listening.
We run a generic routine every day of our lives. This is standard practice in todays world and it's costing us our relationship with God.
I had a time slot in my day for God. At the end of every day before bed I'd pray: that was our time. God does not work on our time or fit into our timeslots. He calls us when He chooses too and if we are not listening we will miss what He has called us to do and He will call someone else - who is listening - to fulfill His will.
This year I have been in constant communication with God because I have no timeslots for Him anymore. Instead, I have made myself completely available to listen out for Him every minute of any and every day, should He call me.
Obedience in the small things is where He reveals Himself to us.
God wants to know that whenever He calls us we stop anything we are busy with and choose Him. No matter what it is that we are busy with.
God's Holy Spirit will prompt us with a thought when He calls us and from that very thought He wants our undivided and immediate attention. Listen for that thought all throughout your day, everyday and when you receive it know that God is calling you and choose Him over whatever it is that you are busy with. By choosing God over everything else you are busy with at that moment of His calling you are telling God He is the most important thing to you in your life and He will reveal himself and His will for you in a very different way.
He did for me.
He wants to know that above all things He is our number 1 priority.
Luke 10v27: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind."
If we allocate time slots to communicate with God, we restrict His presence in our lives and by choosing worldly circumstances, events, people or things over Him at the time He calls us, we commit idolatry.
When God calls you in what seems to be an inopportune time know that He is calling you for something great: to carry out His will!
He has chosen the inopportune time for you because it is an opportunistic time for Him and His will.
His will over our will always.
At the time God calls you He is waiting for you to choose Him over any and all circumstance, events, people or things you may be busy with. He wants your immediate, undivided attention and He will ask for it when you feel you don't have the time because He wants you to choose Him over everything!
Be conscious, be aware, be available and listen out for His call. Do not allocate Him time slots to speak with you.
Number 2: Not understanding.
What I understood prior to this year was that by following Gods laws, commandments and holy days, I was obedient and in my obedience to God I was blessed and favored according to His will.
Wrong. There had to be more because He was not revealing His purpose for me. I was still feeling lifeless.
Yes in my obedience my prayers were answered according to the will He was willing to share with me but I was still empty and He revealed no purpose for me for His kingdom.
I didn't have the peace that only God can give a person, a peace that the world can not give:
John 14v27: "And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give."
I felt no joy, happiness, fulfillment or peace.
I had no purpose! I was constantly changing career paths over the last 2 years, I was constantly wanting to serve but never serving, laughing but never happy, searching but never finding.
Nothing was fulfilling the dark void within me and in my life. It was a deep, dark void of loneliness, depression, suicidal thoughts, heavy sadness, hardship, inconsistency and so much more.
Why was practicing all the Lord's ways leaving me feeling so empty? Simple, Because I wasn't practicing all the Lord's ways, that's why.
I was committing idolatry and until this year I never understood there was an idolatry that wasn’t referring to statues or physically made idols, but there is.
Let me explain.
Everyday God was calling me and I was choosing not to listen.
I was choosing everything else over God and by doing so I made those things more important than God. I was doing this for years.
Each and every time I chose my job, gym, social media time, social events, conversations with people over God when He called me, I was committing idolatry. I placed more importance on those things than on God and by doing so I was choosing them over Him.
Each time I did this He would call someone else who was listening for and to Him and they would carry out His divine will instead.
This will continue to happen until we understand the importance of being obedient in the small things.
Often the small things are the big things.
Do not allocate God time slots to speak to you.
Listen out for His call every second and minute of your life.
Always choose to listen to Him when He does call you no matter what you are busy with at the time.
REMEMBER God wants you to choose Him over anything and everything all of the time.
Choose Him and watch Him reveal His will and His purpose for your life.
Choose Him and watch Him reveal His will and His purpose for His kingdom.
May God through Jesus Christ our King call out to you and may you listen.
God bless you, Child of God.